Wednesday, 7 September 2011

PARIS, JE T'AIME (PAS)



I am back from Paris trip after having a great time - with everything in tact but my morale.

But I have picked up some pointers that I think might be useful for anyone travelling there:

1) Expect to be treated like total crap everywhere you. No exceptions.

2) Avoid being in a group of eight girls, people will stare at you like you are aliens from that 'bizarre' place England.

3) Do not wear a mini dress. A female tramp will yell out 'where is your skirt, whore?' outside your hotel.

4) If you are unhappy with your table at dinner, don't ask to move - it won't happen, even if the restaurant is half empty.

5) Booking a table in advance, knowing a hooked-up man in Paris and having the manager on your BBM does not guarantee you entry into a nightclub.

6) No matter how thin or hot you think you are, everyone else is thinner and hotter. Even the transvestites. Especially the transvestites.

7) At the most happening restaurant, don't expect anyone, especially a waitress, to  know the difference between penne and spaghetti. To the French, it's all 'just pasta'. Don't expect soya sauce with your sushi and above all, do not expect that your starters will come before your mains. I have since discovered the reason for this is that 'trendy' Parisians don't eat, so no one has ever complained about the food.

8) You can however expect the bill to arrive within ten seconds of asking for it. Ditto for the credit card machine.

9) If it's raining and you need a taxi - just forget it.

10)  If you do happen to find a taxi, it's highly probable you will get thrown out or shouted abuse at, often for no reason at all.


1 comment:

paolo said...

Had fun, then? None of this happened on my little Paris trip, though admittedly I wasn't on a hen weekend. What did you do to p*ss them off?