The definition of regret?
Telling your friend you can't be bothered to join her only to find out she spent hours chatting to male models, designers, X Factor judges and Hollywood stars.
Yesterday was Vogue's Fashion's Night Out, an evening of shopping, champagne and exclusive events at stores in London and yours truly decided not to go.
Why? I wish I even had a lame excuse, like I had to help husband pack for his Miami trip (he's much better at packing than I am). Or I was feeling unwell (does a throat hangover from too many cigarettes last weekend count?)
But no, I decided it wasn't worth being out in the cold (it was warm) the rain (it didn't rain) and the masses (celebrities) to stay in and watch an episode of my favourite Danish crime show, the Killing.
Yes, I'm a geek. Sue me.
Anyway, I was totally comfortable with my decision to opt out until around seven o ' clock when Tweets started coming in thick and fast - Did you see the Dior taxi? The Mulberry pugs? The Burberry band? The Hermes Bangle Bowling Alley?
By eleven, I was literally weeping into my pillow when my friend messaged me.
I expected the usual 'you didn't miss much'. Instead I got 'It was a laugh'.
Ok, a laugh, that's fine. I can handle that.
Wait, what's a laugh?
'It was all very mature' she said 'If you know what I mean.'
No, I don't know what you mean.
'I chatted to Mary Katranzou most of the night' (she's like a way important designer I'm obsessed with)
Really? what else?
'Then I hit Coach, chatted to Tulisa (you know, the new X Factor judge?) Saw Gwynnie, she is so pretty (and skinny and skinny!) but ultimately Mr Gandy was dragging me around - which was cool!
(Gandy, like David Gandy, like D&G model, like OMG)
'You really should have come babe. Such a shame you weren't there'
I turned to husband, wailing that I'm a disgrace to fashion, 'Looook at meeeee! Not even my pyjamas are trendy!'
'Then take them off.'
P.S How cute is Victoria Beckham's baby girl?? One does wonder though how someone so thin could produce something so chubby.
P.PS The 90s are back. More later. I have yet to discover how I feel about it.