Five new trends to avoid this summer if you have any brain cells at all:
1. Denim hotpants and bare legs on the streets of London - no matter how skinny or pre-pubescent you think you are. Best saved for hols.
2. Animal print harem pants - no explanation necessary methinks.
3. The new eight-inch Louboutins a la Vic B at the Royal Wedding - I'm all for a helluva' heel but not even red soles can de-slag these shoes.
4. Cut-away swimsuit..Ok, look, I admit I made this mistake. Once. I was young-ish. Never. Ever. Ever. Again.
5. High-waisted flares - Elle 'The Body' Macpherson couldn't pull them off...what makes you think you can? #cameltoe