Monday, 31 January 2011

DOES SAG STAND FOR SHOCKINGLY AWFUL GOWNS?



Not sure what's up with the SAG Awards.

It's like celebrities are purposefully dressing badly to add extra wow factor at the Oscars.

Thank goodness for Glee star Lea Michele (above), my favourite in Oscar de la Renta, who looked gorgeous but wins mainly by default as the others were so bla.

See for yourself.

Natalie Portman in Azzaro. All okay-ish til you get to the bump. Girl needs an iron:



Christina Hendricks in L'Wren Scott. 'My stylist forgot my outfit and all I had was this lousy dressing gown':

January Jones in Carolina Herrera. 'I showed way too much flesh at the Golden Globes so I thought it best to dress like my grandmother':


Mila Kunis in Alexander McQueen. Okay I guess. But totally upstaged by Michelle Obama in a similar  dress by the same designer last week. Disappointing. Could do better:



Eva Longoria in Georges Hobeika. Toilet paper trend alert?



Sofia Vergara in Roberto Cavalli. Could have been best dressed, but looks like a porn star, showing too much cleavage:


Nicole Kidman in Nina Ricci. Proof that you really do lose your personality when you stop eating:


Hilary Swank in Verace. 'I am trying really hard to be stylish and even have my own TV show about fashion coming out soon. But I know in the end I'll only ever be remembered as the butch boxer from Million Dollar Baby. Oh and the lesbian cross-dresser from Boys Don't Cry. Still. I got a couple of Oscars':


Last but not least, Winona Ryder in Alberta Ferretti, because every fashion show needs a bride.


P.S. And now for some totally unrelated and gratuitous leopard print. Because I love it!

Kylie shows her wild side

Friday, 28 January 2011

PLASTIC FANTASTIC


Weird new trend alert: paying through the roof for cheap looking bags.

The 'anti it-bag' (the new it-bag, basically) comes in various guises and Jil Sander offered up the latest one at the Spring/Summer show.

It won't be long before Frow-istas are carrying their freebies in one of these 'Market shoppers' and probably even less time before Whole Foods - a catwalk that pretends to be a supermarket - is awash in a sea of neon.

Admittedly, the leather ones are quite cool and come in pink, yellow and green.



But I'm not too sure about Jil's acetate versions that look like the clear, plastic things you get at Duty Free with the receipt stapled on.

If you don't want to spend £90 though, do not despair. 

You can easily DIY with a Tesco or Waitrose carrier from the next food shop.

For real style cred, striped blue and white bags from your local newsagent are the way to go.

When approached, just say you are 'being ironic.'

Fashion people love that. 

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

HOT COUTURE

Only expletives and an excited, high-pitched tone can describe how I feel about today's Elie Saab show.

This collection belongs with a medley of dramatic perfume ad cliches including diamonds, macaroons, vintage Champagne, Paris, fur, snow, King Kong and/or any kind of incident where a handsome but brooding man has to chase you down a cobbled street before you disappear from his life forever.

And preferably ME (trapped in the body of Gisele).

Of course, the red carpet is also a perfectly acceptable location and I CANNOT wait to see which A-lister is set to get their hands on one of these di-vine creations.

Ok,  will let some of the gowns do the talking but seriously, OMFG:

Ladylike glamour
Nude siren
So Marion Cotillard
Fit for a goddess
Frost yourself
Green queen
lilac & lace
Red alert
Wowza
Why does a girl only get one wedding per husband?


P.S A VERY LOVING husband (no, not mine) has found the ULTIMATE gift for his wife.

He hired a Sex and the City designer to turn the guest bedroom into Carrie's exact closet from the movie.

What I want to know is, was it the first film or the second?

Either way, the walk in wardrobe holds 400 pairs of shoes. I feel sick.

Satc 1: Closet heaven

Satc 2: Closet heaven too

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

CHANGING THE CHANEL


Who would send models down the catwalk in flat shoes during Couture Week? So simple. So chic. So Chanel.

While all other designers are vamping it up, this collection was pared down elegance and I LOVED it.  

My only disappointment was the lack of Oscar-worthy creations. Boohoo. 

But loving the nude hues, attention to detail and crystal embellishments. 

Of his show today, Karl Lagerfeld said: 'I don't want an intellectual image. I am a fashion person.' 

Well, no one's going to argue with that.

My only concern is does this mark the beginning of the end - of the high heel? Quelle horreur!

Here are my faves:

Monochrome magic
Eighties yuppy love
Understated bling
Sheer perfection
P.S Finally saw Black Swan. Amazing performances but seriously scary. I guess Winona Ryder has that effect on me.

Monday, 24 January 2011

J'ADORE DIOR


Couture Week kicked off today with an OMG Christian Dior show.

There are only one or two occasions you would wear any of these dresses.

1) Your funeral.

2) Perhaps at a wedding where you intend on upstaging the bride.

Or maybe, you buy the dress, try it on and your husband decides you are so bloody expensive, he'd rather stuff you and hang you on the wall where he can at least appreciate his investment in silence.

Either way, Galliano's pieces are definitely art.

Inspired by former Dior illustrator Rene Gruau's drawings, I am loving the super glamorous 40s throwback.

This gown is like wrapping paper that will transform you into a giant present. In a good way. Or at the very least, makes a great maternity dress innit:


 
Favourite. Who is going to wear this STUNNING creation to the Oscars???? Pick me! Pick me!



Yellow spring ladylike loveliness:


Tyra-Banks-fierce:


Betty Draper does heroin chic:



That is all for today. Stay tuned for tomorrow. It's the Chanel show. Oh. My.

P.S Armani Prive also today. Quel disappointment. 1940's-meets-metallics-meets-Space Age. Whatever. Yawn. Not feeling the Judy Jetson vibe.


Monday, 17 January 2011

QUEEN ANNE

Golden Globes last night. Quel excitement!

Tres sad I missed the red carpet on TV, but hard-working me needs beauty sleep for those ghastly 630 am wake-ups.

As soon as I opened my eyes this morning however, I grabbed my crackberry for Twitter details and screamed out the winners to husband, who was delighted to be woken up, naturally.

Congratulations to Colin Firth (recent entry on my laminated list) for his win on the King's Speech, I really hope he takes the Oscar home... especially after he said of his wife, Livia, 'I can cope with anything if I have her.' Awwww.

Ok, crap aside. Now for the gown lowdown: I don't want to be bitchy so I won't dwell too much on the misses: Christina Aguilera in Zuhair Murad, Catherine Zeta-Jones in Monique Lhuillier ( the Chateau de Versailles are looking for their curtains) Natalie Portman in Viktor & Rolf (stiff hair ruined the outfit) and Halle Berry in Nina Ricci. WTF?!





But my biggest disappointment was definitely January Jones who despite having perfect hair, revealed too much flesh in Versace. The demure Betty Draper would never approve and frankly, neither do I. Tut tut.

Yes, Angelina looked her usual stunning self and kudos to her for shying away from black this time but it still wasn't enough of a break from the norm to stand out, in my opinion.


Olivia Wilde was the viewer's choice in Marchesa with everyone rating the princess look. I liked it, but it wasn't my favourite. Great Loubs though.



However, the two looks I LOVE LOVE LOVED were Anne Hathaway who blew me away in a backless Armani Prive and Black Swan star Mila Kunis in green Vera Wang, which FYI is the colour of the year.


 
P.S I have to say, I really do love Helena Bonham Carter. She's a great actress and never takes herself too seriously. Great move with the mismatched shoes.

Friday, 14 January 2011

BOY MEETS GIRL


While I'm a massive part-time Gossip Girl fan, I'm definitely camp Serena and don't really understand what the fuss is about with Blair.

The block colour, matchy matchy outfits are so bla and pale in comparison to the cascading blonde hair, voluptuous figure and rocking threads sported by Miss Van der Woodsen. Sigh.

But men's suits for women have made a massive comeback, and out of all the red carpet versions, Leighton's is by far my favourite.

Not adventurous enough to try the look myself as I am sure I will be more Charlie Chaplin than YSL Smoking but I recently watched Going the Distance and stepped in love with Drew Barrymore's bow-tie choker. 

The question is, can I actually get away with this either? Probably not. 

But a great alternative is a fabulous pair of high-waisted black trousers (I've had my Max Mara ones since 2003 and they still look brand new - prob cos I hardly wear them) and a lace body, like this La Perla one I spotted on Net-a-Porter:

Just add pearls and red lipstick. 

Suits you sir...



P.S Random note. Watched Benjamin Button again the other day, always makes me cry *sniff sniff*